Life and Golf, Golf and Life
April 17, 2005 - By Bill Douglass

I recently took the first golf lesson of my life. I am not a newcomer to the game with 45 years under my belt (I’m not that old, I started playing at age 7). For some reason these days, it isn’t enough for me to enjoy the camaraderie and fresh outdoor experience, so I signed up for a three-hole lesson with a golf-pro.

The first question my instructor asked came after I muffed a short chip-shot to the green. He asked me, “What were you resisting when you hit that shot?” I considered the question carefully. He was right. I was resisting something when I struck the ball. First, I was remembering all the times in the past when I had hit a similar shot very poorly. Second, the lie of the ball was a little funny and I was concerned about getting the leading edge of the club under the ball. Third, I was resistant to exposing all the imperfections in my golf swing to this stranger. The point of the question was to create an awareness of my focus. I thought I was focused on making a great golf shot but I wasn’t. What I was really focused on first and foremost was not making a mistake.

How much time do we spend in life trying to avoid making mistakes? This is dangerous because we tend to create the outcomes we visualize. In my golf lesson, I was focused on hitting a bad shot or looking silly to my instructor and this resulted in making a bad shot. I quickly learned that as I slowed down and focused on successfully hitting the ball to a specific target with each swing, the better my results were. The positive results were almost immediate. I scored a birdie 2 on the second hole I played with my instructor.

Financial pressures and disappointing economic news provide plenty of reasons to focus on resisting negative outcomes rather than visualizing ourselves as wildly successful. In the end, it is very much like my golf game. Putting the negative thoughts and fears out of our minds can make a big difference.

It really is a matter of mindset and turning down the volume of our constant negative self-talk. Creating an awareness of our ongoing undermining brain chatter is the first step to moving in a positive direction. We need to start telling ourselves positive things, remembering our successes and looking positively to the future. We need to work at this everyday and be mindful that the first few months in any transition are always the most difficult. Finding support during this period can help you stay on track and make a huge difference in your success. Chances are your habitual negative thought process is holding you back in every area of your life.

If you don’t have a friend, colleague or family member who can help you, it could be very beneficial to retain a leadership development instructor / coach to help you work through the process. The goal is to become a person who can more consistently visualize positive outcomes for yourself and the people around you. Going through this process will help you become a better leader and positive influence on everyone with whom you come in contact. It creates a winning mind-set and demeanor to which people are attracted.

I have seen this effort produce truly wonderful, tangible outcomes for people over the years. It comes down to believing in yourself and becoming your own best friend and cheerleader. The transformation can be accomplished very effectively with a coach or advisor over the telephone and with email. This makes it easy and convenient to schedule your weekly meetings and helps keep the expenses low.

Be very careful when hiring a business coach or advisor. Be certain that the individual you select has dealt with adversity and has a great track record of success in his or her own life. It is also very important that you have a strong rapport to this person that helps you feel comfortable in sharing your fears and concerns with them. I am confident you will be very pleased with the results you achieve in the process.

Thanks for reading. Your comments or questions are always welcomed at bill@bdouglassideas.com or you can call 586-933-1024.

b.douglass.ideas, LLC is an executive and business coaching practice focused on helping leaders achieve greater productivity, peace of mind and fulfillment in their business and personal lives.  We are also qualified to administer and interpret the Myers-Briggs® assessment tool and certified in the Self-Discovery Process®.  Free initial consultations are available upon request to bill@bdouglassideas.com or call 586.933.1024.

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